Panic
You don't have to forgive me you know, you don't even have to reply me. I'm the one who let you down.
It's not like I don't have others to turn to.
When panic grips your body, you might be forced to lie. Lie to help, lie to avoid a bitter end, lie for life.
Who am I kidding? Lies are never good for enything. Lies ony make things worse.
Unfortunately, sometimes lies may be the only way out. And that's when the panic kicks in.
Panic.
What an awful word. It may sound pretty, but all it's darkness weighs it down. When panic strikes, your body is left to deal with it. But what if it can't? What if it just breaks, just breaks down. I guess mine did. I guess mine have.
I just found out about some tests, my life was hard enough even before I knew about them.
Panic, anxiety, hyperventilating, and the tears burning from the back of your eyes. A heart pounding.
Sometimes when I lie in my bed, my bed just seems to shake. It took me a while to firgure out, it was the heavy pounding of my heart creating the motions.
Fright.
I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Did you know I'm terrified? I have so much to lose, but not enough power to win. I'm so scared my mum's gonna freak out and have a fit. I'm so scared she's going to go through with her empty threats, do all the things I fear. I'm scared she's gonna do something, whatever just something.
I saw her, when I was with dad and you know who. That time it was my turn to freak out. Luckily she had her back turned against me, and I hope to God she didn't see me. Nor them. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and my feet were unsteady. I was ready to fall.
Anxiety.
With all this panic and fright comes anxiety. Remorse for what you have or havn't done. Then the panic grabs you again and you see no end to it. You hyperventilate as you're trying to fight back tears. Dry tears that is. I can't seem to feel anything but anxiety, no joy at all. I do not laugh, I do not cry. But I am desperate, desperate to find a way out. Desperate to let my inside out, desperate to figure out my thoughts. In desperate need of knowing what to do. I'm desperate, oh so desperate to work it out. To truely cry, to truely laugh. I am desperate to live.
When the desperation hits you, with a dash of guilt, you know you're going down.
But how far can one fall?
And who will be there to catch me, when I fall out of what I fell in?
- Just me.
xxxxxxxooooo
It's not like I don't have others to turn to.
When panic grips your body, you might be forced to lie. Lie to help, lie to avoid a bitter end, lie for life.
Who am I kidding? Lies are never good for enything. Lies ony make things worse.
Unfortunately, sometimes lies may be the only way out. And that's when the panic kicks in.
Panic.
What an awful word. It may sound pretty, but all it's darkness weighs it down. When panic strikes, your body is left to deal with it. But what if it can't? What if it just breaks, just breaks down. I guess mine did. I guess mine have.
I just found out about some tests, my life was hard enough even before I knew about them.
Panic, anxiety, hyperventilating, and the tears burning from the back of your eyes. A heart pounding.
Sometimes when I lie in my bed, my bed just seems to shake. It took me a while to firgure out, it was the heavy pounding of my heart creating the motions.
Fright.
I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Did you know I'm terrified? I have so much to lose, but not enough power to win. I'm so scared my mum's gonna freak out and have a fit. I'm so scared she's going to go through with her empty threats, do all the things I fear. I'm scared she's gonna do something, whatever just something.
I saw her, when I was with dad and you know who. That time it was my turn to freak out. Luckily she had her back turned against me, and I hope to God she didn't see me. Nor them. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and my feet were unsteady. I was ready to fall.
Anxiety.
With all this panic and fright comes anxiety. Remorse for what you have or havn't done. Then the panic grabs you again and you see no end to it. You hyperventilate as you're trying to fight back tears. Dry tears that is. I can't seem to feel anything but anxiety, no joy at all. I do not laugh, I do not cry. But I am desperate, desperate to find a way out. Desperate to let my inside out, desperate to figure out my thoughts. In desperate need of knowing what to do. I'm desperate, oh so desperate to work it out. To truely cry, to truely laugh. I am desperate to live.
When the desperation hits you, with a dash of guilt, you know you're going down.
But how far can one fall?
And who will be there to catch me, when I fall out of what I fell in?
- Just me.
xxxxxxxooooo
Kommentarer
Trackback
