Onerousness

That I can't. That I won't.
But please take me back to where one knew what one knew.


I once believed in it, I once though I blieved in it anyway. I thought it was what I wanted, so I went with it.
Well, it wasn't what I wanted, nor what I needed. I was never sure, always doubtful. The funny thing is when I had finally decided what to do, you came along and changed my life completely. You change my life every now and then, and will continue to do so forever. I had made up my mind, I was determind to do whatever I was going to do, but then you came back. If only for a minute, you were back and that made me reconsider my desicion.

Having you around made everything a lot easier, because all I could really care about was you. And it's still you. There are two people in this world, two people whom I feel I would like to run away with, and you're one if them.
The other one remains a dream, just like you in a way.
When I'm with you... I laugh. And cry. I shout, and I'm quiet. I'm never calm, yet no ones soothes me quite the way you do. I can be horrifed, yet you always seem to kill all my problems. It's like nothing else matters, nothing else matters. You have me under a spell, and it's wicked.

Let's face it, I have a lot of things going on right now, but last time I saw you, all happening was you. I don't care about the rest of the world, I don't care about our others, there's only you. If I could spend just one moment with you, I would be glad, but never satisfied. When I leave you, I feel like I am going to break. I just want to be with you, doesn't matter what we do, just as long as I'm with you. Near you. I don't care if we sit quiet in a dark room, I don't care at all. Just as long as I'm with you.

I like the way you treat me, how you always put me first. I like the way you talk, you funny phrases and accent. I like what you say when you talk, everything always seem so much more interesting when you say it. And Christ, I love making you laugh. I like the hippie kinda thing you've got going, it's working for ya.
"Trying to let it all go, but how can I when you still don't know?" I was alone in this from the start, I've been alone all along. You won't even greet me sometimes. But what kills me is that big a difference some times. The times you don't froget, the times you do see me. And oh, you truely are the best hugger in the world.
But I know we don't complement each other, I know we don't go well together. Heck, you're not even my type. And if I could choose, I would never choose you.

But I guess what they say is true, love is blind, and I hate you for that.


Shhh...! I think they know.

-Just me.