Ventilation
Ventilation is good. But this no ones listens to, they're all too uptight.
How could I ever let you go. You were my light in the dark, you still are.
I get it everywhere, everyone's telling me to forget, go on. Let it go, you silly girl. What they don't know, what I know. You made me believe in soulmates. You made me forget the world, and see only you and me.
Deep down I know I need to forget and move on, but how? And I don't want to, you're what keeps me going. You changed me for the better, I keep changing for you. The thought of that I might see you again keeps me from giving in. What I do, I do for you. When I'm determined to do something, it's you I do it. I change myself for you to like me.
It's true what they say, you copy the one you love. Weather it's unknowingly or not, it's what they do. And boy do I remind myself of you. Compared to you, no one is nothing. Compared to you, they're all shit.
It's so hard, because I don't want to give you up. How could I ever, when I've loved you since before I met you.
I remember the first time I talked to you, and how we then talked for hours. I remember when I first saw your picture, christ your hair was so blond and it was everywhere. Your eyes had the colour of the sea. How we talked, my how we talked. We really talked about everything. And you treated me just like an equal. We talked of tea, of coffee and blueberries. We talked about shorts, and the sea. Always the endless sea. And that one time we talked about liquor. And never to forget, we talked about rollercoasters. Oh I still have the key strap.
I remember the first time I heard your voice, your accent stunned me. You reminded me of nothing I had heard before. And then I remember when I first saw you... I was so, nervous. And you were so, you. I didn't know what to do, weather to hug you or not. I shook your hand. You were shorter than I had imagined; you were dainty when you peered from behind the door. And then when we talked I felt like I already knew you. Your socks, you had mooses and hearts on your socks. You're so childish in so many aspects, but yet you're as manly as they come.
That time I hardly saw you at all, because we both had to go. You ran off, and I went looking at boats. I couldn't stand it, even seeing Hällström didn't make me feel better. I was caught, I needed you. Nighttime came, and I got to see you again. We had tea and scones. We stayed up late, you and I alone. And we talked, and I could feel your web wrapped around me. I was yours to have, caught in your web. Dancing your dance, playing your game. Always, always singing your song. Singing my song for you. Then you hugged me. And I hugged you.
I hate leaving you behind. I hate leaving you. I hate it.
And I don't want to be in love, but your making me.
Let me up, I've had enough. Boy you're breakin me.
I just don't know where to go. I need a refuge in you, that's why I'm not willing to give you up. I still need you.
I can't face my world right now, so I run to you. Be a dream, be whatever you are, just as long as you're there.
How could I ever let you go. You were my light in the dark, you still are.
I get it everywhere, everyone's telling me to forget, go on. Let it go, you silly girl. What they don't know, what I know. You made me believe in soulmates. You made me forget the world, and see only you and me.
Deep down I know I need to forget and move on, but how? And I don't want to, you're what keeps me going. You changed me for the better, I keep changing for you. The thought of that I might see you again keeps me from giving in. What I do, I do for you. When I'm determined to do something, it's you I do it. I change myself for you to like me.
It's true what they say, you copy the one you love. Weather it's unknowingly or not, it's what they do. And boy do I remind myself of you. Compared to you, no one is nothing. Compared to you, they're all shit.
It's so hard, because I don't want to give you up. How could I ever, when I've loved you since before I met you.
I remember the first time I talked to you, and how we then talked for hours. I remember when I first saw your picture, christ your hair was so blond and it was everywhere. Your eyes had the colour of the sea. How we talked, my how we talked. We really talked about everything. And you treated me just like an equal. We talked of tea, of coffee and blueberries. We talked about shorts, and the sea. Always the endless sea. And that one time we talked about liquor. And never to forget, we talked about rollercoasters. Oh I still have the key strap.
I remember the first time I heard your voice, your accent stunned me. You reminded me of nothing I had heard before. And then I remember when I first saw you... I was so, nervous. And you were so, you. I didn't know what to do, weather to hug you or not. I shook your hand. You were shorter than I had imagined; you were dainty when you peered from behind the door. And then when we talked I felt like I already knew you. Your socks, you had mooses and hearts on your socks. You're so childish in so many aspects, but yet you're as manly as they come.
That time I hardly saw you at all, because we both had to go. You ran off, and I went looking at boats. I couldn't stand it, even seeing Hällström didn't make me feel better. I was caught, I needed you. Nighttime came, and I got to see you again. We had tea and scones. We stayed up late, you and I alone. And we talked, and I could feel your web wrapped around me. I was yours to have, caught in your web. Dancing your dance, playing your game. Always, always singing your song. Singing my song for you. Then you hugged me. And I hugged you.
I hate leaving you behind. I hate leaving you. I hate it.
And I don't want to be in love, but your making me.
Let me up, I've had enough. Boy you're breakin me.
I just don't know where to go. I need a refuge in you, that's why I'm not willing to give you up. I still need you.
I can't face my world right now, so I run to you. Be a dream, be whatever you are, just as long as you're there.
Are you digging on me, cause I'm digging on you
Well, it's not that easy.
They're telling me I should forget you,
but how could I?
I can't and I won't. Why should I? You give me hope.
They're telling me I should forget you,
but how could I?
I can't and I won't. Why should I? You give me hope.
I couldn't care less
Well, I haven't done my homework.
I pissed mum off...
My shoulder's killing me.
I'm ignoring everyone and everything.
My life's been messed up.
My grades are sinking.
I'm tired but can't get no sleep.
Dad's away...
Brother's in London.
Mr. Ledger's dead.
Grá number 2 remains a dream.
I will always be just a litte bit of an outsider.
And I couldn't care less!!!!!!!!!
It's all because of you. You make me forget.
And we talked, my how we talked. I will secretly call my new bike "Sofia".
Bake me a blueberry pie and I'll come over, give me wine and cheese, let's drink from your new glasses. Just give me something, and we'll be nightswimming before you know it. We'll go fishing, fishing, fishing.
All of this, all because of you. You're pretty darn addictive.
-Just me.
I pissed mum off...
My shoulder's killing me.
I'm ignoring everyone and everything.
My life's been messed up.
My grades are sinking.
I'm tired but can't get no sleep.
Dad's away...
Brother's in London.
Mr. Ledger's dead.
Grá number 2 remains a dream.
I will always be just a litte bit of an outsider.
And I couldn't care less!!!!!!!!!
It's all because of you. You make me forget.
And we talked, my how we talked. I will secretly call my new bike "Sofia".
Bake me a blueberry pie and I'll come over, give me wine and cheese, let's drink from your new glasses. Just give me something, and we'll be nightswimming before you know it. We'll go fishing, fishing, fishing.
All of this, all because of you. You're pretty darn addictive.
-Just me.
Taking back
That I can't. That I won't.
But please take me back to where one knew what one knew.
I once believed in it, I once though I blieved in it anyway. I thought it was what I wanted, so I went with it.
Well, it wasn't what I wanted, nor what I needed. I was never sure, always doubtful. The funny thing is when I had finally decided what to do, you came along and changed my life completely. You change my life every now and then, and will continue to do so forever. I had made up my mind, I was determind to do whatever I was going to do, but then you came back. If only for a minute, you were back and that made me reconsider my desicion.
Having you around made everything a lot easier, because all I could really care about was you. And it's still you. There are two people in this world, two people whom I feel I would like to run away with, and you're one if them.
The other one remains a dream, just like you in a way.
When I'm with you... I laugh. And cry. I shout, and I'm quiet. I'm never calm, yet no ones soothes me quite the way you do. I can be horrifed, yet you always seem to kill all my problems. It's like nothing else matters, nothing else matters. You have me under a spell, and it's wicked.
Let's face it, I have a lot of things going on right now, but last time I saw you, all happening was you. I don't care about the rest of the world, I don't care about our others, there's only you. If I could spend just one moment with you, I would be glad, but never satisfied. When I leave you, I feel like I am going to break. I just want to be with you, doesn't matter what we do, just as long as I'm with you. Near you. I don't care if we sit quiet in a dark room, I don't care at all. Just as long as I'm with you.
I like the way you treat me, how you always put me first. I like the way you talk, you funny phrases and accent. I like what you say when you talk, everything always seem so much more interesting when you say it. And Christ, I love making you laugh. I like the hippie kinda thing you've got going, it's working for ya.
"Trying to let it all go, but how can I when you still don't know?" I was alone in this from the start, I've been alone all along. You won't even greet me sometimes. But what kills me is that big a difference some times. The times you don't froget, the times you do see me. And oh, you truely are the best hugger in the world.
But I know we don't complement each other, I know we don't go well together. Heck, you're not even my type. And if I could choose, I would never choose you.
But I guess what they say is true, love is blind, and I hate you for that.
Shhh...! I think they know.
-Just me.
But please take me back to where one knew what one knew.
I once believed in it, I once though I blieved in it anyway. I thought it was what I wanted, so I went with it.
Well, it wasn't what I wanted, nor what I needed. I was never sure, always doubtful. The funny thing is when I had finally decided what to do, you came along and changed my life completely. You change my life every now and then, and will continue to do so forever. I had made up my mind, I was determind to do whatever I was going to do, but then you came back. If only for a minute, you were back and that made me reconsider my desicion.
Having you around made everything a lot easier, because all I could really care about was you. And it's still you. There are two people in this world, two people whom I feel I would like to run away with, and you're one if them.
The other one remains a dream, just like you in a way.
When I'm with you... I laugh. And cry. I shout, and I'm quiet. I'm never calm, yet no ones soothes me quite the way you do. I can be horrifed, yet you always seem to kill all my problems. It's like nothing else matters, nothing else matters. You have me under a spell, and it's wicked.
Let's face it, I have a lot of things going on right now, but last time I saw you, all happening was you. I don't care about the rest of the world, I don't care about our others, there's only you. If I could spend just one moment with you, I would be glad, but never satisfied. When I leave you, I feel like I am going to break. I just want to be with you, doesn't matter what we do, just as long as I'm with you. Near you. I don't care if we sit quiet in a dark room, I don't care at all. Just as long as I'm with you.
I like the way you treat me, how you always put me first. I like the way you talk, you funny phrases and accent. I like what you say when you talk, everything always seem so much more interesting when you say it. And Christ, I love making you laugh. I like the hippie kinda thing you've got going, it's working for ya.
"Trying to let it all go, but how can I when you still don't know?" I was alone in this from the start, I've been alone all along. You won't even greet me sometimes. But what kills me is that big a difference some times. The times you don't froget, the times you do see me. And oh, you truely are the best hugger in the world.
But I know we don't complement each other, I know we don't go well together. Heck, you're not even my type. And if I could choose, I would never choose you.
But I guess what they say is true, love is blind, and I hate you for that.
Shhh...! I think they know.
-Just me.
Evade devastation and avoid disaster
and you'll be better off.
I like the title, I like it.
What I write here was never meant to come out, nor to be shown to anyone. Well that's what I thought before, I might have changed my mind. No I haven't. That's why I'm goning to to what I'm going to do.
Where am I now? I'm at dad's, listening to melancholy songs of love by Counting Crows.
"What brings me down now, is love. Cause I can never get enough. No I can never get enough of love"
Goodnight L.A. sjunger Mr. Duritz.
Oh ho oh, oh ho oh. I can't be arsed to write today.
Mum rang me before, it surprises me how unstable her thinking is, how she turns from one side to the other just like that. Back and forth, always.
No if you excuse me, I have som listening to do.
Slán.
-Me.
(Everything in black and blue)
I like the title, I like it.
What I write here was never meant to come out, nor to be shown to anyone. Well that's what I thought before, I might have changed my mind. No I haven't. That's why I'm goning to to what I'm going to do.
Where am I now? I'm at dad's, listening to melancholy songs of love by Counting Crows.
"What brings me down now, is love. Cause I can never get enough. No I can never get enough of love"
Goodnight L.A. sjunger Mr. Duritz.
Oh ho oh, oh ho oh. I can't be arsed to write today.
Mum rang me before, it surprises me how unstable her thinking is, how she turns from one side to the other just like that. Back and forth, always.
No if you excuse me, I have som listening to do.
Slán.
-Me.
(Everything in black and blue)
Panic
You don't have to forgive me you know, you don't even have to reply me. I'm the one who let you down.
It's not like I don't have others to turn to.
When panic grips your body, you might be forced to lie. Lie to help, lie to avoid a bitter end, lie for life.
Who am I kidding? Lies are never good for enything. Lies ony make things worse.
Unfortunately, sometimes lies may be the only way out. And that's when the panic kicks in.
Panic.
What an awful word. It may sound pretty, but all it's darkness weighs it down. When panic strikes, your body is left to deal with it. But what if it can't? What if it just breaks, just breaks down. I guess mine did. I guess mine have.
I just found out about some tests, my life was hard enough even before I knew about them.
Panic, anxiety, hyperventilating, and the tears burning from the back of your eyes. A heart pounding.
Sometimes when I lie in my bed, my bed just seems to shake. It took me a while to firgure out, it was the heavy pounding of my heart creating the motions.
Fright.
I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Did you know I'm terrified? I have so much to lose, but not enough power to win. I'm so scared my mum's gonna freak out and have a fit. I'm so scared she's going to go through with her empty threats, do all the things I fear. I'm scared she's gonna do something, whatever just something.
I saw her, when I was with dad and you know who. That time it was my turn to freak out. Luckily she had her back turned against me, and I hope to God she didn't see me. Nor them. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and my feet were unsteady. I was ready to fall.
Anxiety.
With all this panic and fright comes anxiety. Remorse for what you have or havn't done. Then the panic grabs you again and you see no end to it. You hyperventilate as you're trying to fight back tears. Dry tears that is. I can't seem to feel anything but anxiety, no joy at all. I do not laugh, I do not cry. But I am desperate, desperate to find a way out. Desperate to let my inside out, desperate to figure out my thoughts. In desperate need of knowing what to do. I'm desperate, oh so desperate to work it out. To truely cry, to truely laugh. I am desperate to live.
When the desperation hits you, with a dash of guilt, you know you're going down.
But how far can one fall?
And who will be there to catch me, when I fall out of what I fell in?
- Just me.
xxxxxxxooooo
It's not like I don't have others to turn to.
When panic grips your body, you might be forced to lie. Lie to help, lie to avoid a bitter end, lie for life.
Who am I kidding? Lies are never good for enything. Lies ony make things worse.
Unfortunately, sometimes lies may be the only way out. And that's when the panic kicks in.
Panic.
What an awful word. It may sound pretty, but all it's darkness weighs it down. When panic strikes, your body is left to deal with it. But what if it can't? What if it just breaks, just breaks down. I guess mine did. I guess mine have.
I just found out about some tests, my life was hard enough even before I knew about them.
Panic, anxiety, hyperventilating, and the tears burning from the back of your eyes. A heart pounding.
Sometimes when I lie in my bed, my bed just seems to shake. It took me a while to firgure out, it was the heavy pounding of my heart creating the motions.
Fright.
I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Did you know I'm terrified? I have so much to lose, but not enough power to win. I'm so scared my mum's gonna freak out and have a fit. I'm so scared she's going to go through with her empty threats, do all the things I fear. I'm scared she's gonna do something, whatever just something.
I saw her, when I was with dad and you know who. That time it was my turn to freak out. Luckily she had her back turned against me, and I hope to God she didn't see me. Nor them. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and my feet were unsteady. I was ready to fall.
Anxiety.
With all this panic and fright comes anxiety. Remorse for what you have or havn't done. Then the panic grabs you again and you see no end to it. You hyperventilate as you're trying to fight back tears. Dry tears that is. I can't seem to feel anything but anxiety, no joy at all. I do not laugh, I do not cry. But I am desperate, desperate to find a way out. Desperate to let my inside out, desperate to figure out my thoughts. In desperate need of knowing what to do. I'm desperate, oh so desperate to work it out. To truely cry, to truely laugh. I am desperate to live.
When the desperation hits you, with a dash of guilt, you know you're going down.
But how far can one fall?
And who will be there to catch me, when I fall out of what I fell in?
- Just me.
xxxxxxxooooo
Worthless ideas and nothingness
It's like a thousand thoughts inside my mind, all of them suppressed. And every little thought is trying to find its own way out, only my mind won't let it. It's like I'm consciously ignoring to think, ignoring to exist. Simply because existing here in this now, is heartbreaking.
It feels as if my eyes are going to pop out, as if my head is going to explode. It feels as I'm dying and I'm getting sicker by the second. And this is not helping. You are not helping.
I don't deserve anyone's help, not your's, not your's and especially not your's.
It's so much easier being on your own, but it's so much lonelier.
Although, having all these thoughts, I'm never alone.
- Just me.
And oh yes, welcome to my somewhat mediocre blog. I hope you don't lose yourself in my fear.
It feels as if my eyes are going to pop out, as if my head is going to explode. It feels as I'm dying and I'm getting sicker by the second. And this is not helping. You are not helping.
I don't deserve anyone's help, not your's, not your's and especially not your's.
It's so much easier being on your own, but it's so much lonelier.
Although, having all these thoughts, I'm never alone.
- Just me.
And oh yes, welcome to my somewhat mediocre blog. I hope you don't lose yourself in my fear.
