Skada, skada, woman down
Varför vill du bara göra allt värre?
Och sen vänder du på allt.
Jag orkar inte med dig, hur du alltid får allt att verka värre. Hur allt som är jobbigt alltid dras upp och förstoras.
Jag orkar inte med din avunsjuka, som är baserad på ingenting. Jag orkar inte med oron, oron att inte veta om du klarar dig eller ej. Jag orkar inte ta hand om dig, inte trösta dig, inte ge dig mer tid. Tid som jag inte har.
Jag klarar inte att bli besviken av dig om och om igen. Mina öron tål inte höra dina klagomål, mina ögon klarar inte att se ditt förfall. Mitt hjärta kan inte bära din tyngd, och jag orkar inte hjälpa dig.
Att se dig är jobbigt, men att inte se dig är saknad. Att aldrig ha rätt, och att ständigt få höra det. När du går bakom min rygg och sedan förnekar det är är chockerande, men det är inte före vändpunkten jag chockeras.
Efter alla lögner och toma hot, efter allt skrik och all avundsjuka, efter alla påhop och all strid, då vänder du helt plötsligt sida. Du ringer upp mig, visar en öm sida, och tvingar mig till att känna skuld.
Jag orkar inte med dina vändningar. Jag orkar inte färdas fram och tillbaka med frångan. "Kärlek eller hat?"
Mitt hjärta kan inte bära din tyngd, och jag kan inte vara din "mamma". Jag kan inte vara din, mamma.
Slow down my beating heart
This is my heart, and I'll have it FedExed to you in a box.
Med många om och men, så har denna dag inte varit till nytta. Den levde aldirg ut sitt fulla jag med full kapacitet, den dog längs vägen. Denna dag började inte idag, inte igår, inte så länge jag kan minnas.
Min dag dog ut, nästa dag får krypa fram ur ett dike, begravd i lera och skräp. Min nästa dag vandrar redan längs vägkanten, där bilarna som kör förbi kastar ut sitt skräp. Inte tänker de på den stackars dagen som ensam vandrar, ensam randas.
Varje ny dag plågas av resterande nattankar från dagen dessförinnan.
Det nya som påbörjades idag, började med en katastrof. Vilse var jag, och vilsna var de. Jag kallades till och med vid fel namn. Kräkt? Nej inte alls.
Samtalet. Hmm. Hur var det? Det var hemskt. Vad de inte förstår, är att jag är äldre än vad jag borde vara.
Och för tyven, jag fattade inte ens vad skåningen sade.
Dagens kurs var rakt mot nedgång. Dagen var dömd till att dö, liksom nästa, och nästa, och nästa.
Och hur kan man roa sig med de som håller en mur runt sig. De som murar in sig i en skräphåla där endast skräp förgås och talas. Den där förbannade nummerlappen kan måhända vara det enda bra som inträffade idag.
Idag, fördömda idag, bli imorgon så jag kan glömma dig med gårdagen.
-Ebba
Med många om och men, så har denna dag inte varit till nytta. Den levde aldirg ut sitt fulla jag med full kapacitet, den dog längs vägen. Denna dag började inte idag, inte igår, inte så länge jag kan minnas.
Min dag dog ut, nästa dag får krypa fram ur ett dike, begravd i lera och skräp. Min nästa dag vandrar redan längs vägkanten, där bilarna som kör förbi kastar ut sitt skräp. Inte tänker de på den stackars dagen som ensam vandrar, ensam randas.
Varje ny dag plågas av resterande nattankar från dagen dessförinnan.
Det nya som påbörjades idag, började med en katastrof. Vilse var jag, och vilsna var de. Jag kallades till och med vid fel namn. Kräkt? Nej inte alls.
Samtalet. Hmm. Hur var det? Det var hemskt. Vad de inte förstår, är att jag är äldre än vad jag borde vara.
Och för tyven, jag fattade inte ens vad skåningen sade.
Dagens kurs var rakt mot nedgång. Dagen var dömd till att dö, liksom nästa, och nästa, och nästa.
Och hur kan man roa sig med de som håller en mur runt sig. De som murar in sig i en skräphåla där endast skräp förgås och talas. Den där förbannade nummerlappen kan måhända vara det enda bra som inträffade idag.
Idag, fördömda idag, bli imorgon så jag kan glömma dig med gårdagen.
-Ebba
Driving circles around me
From the very first moment I saw you
That's when I knew
All the dreams I held in my heart
Had suddenly come true
Knock me over stone cold sober
Not a thing I could say or do
Cause baby when I'm walking with you now
My eyes are so wide
Like you reached right into my head
And turned on the light inside
Turning on the light
Inside my mind... yea...
Come on baby it's all right
Sunday, Monday, day or night
Written blue on white, it's plain to see
Be mine, be mine!
Rainy, shiny, night or day
What's the difference anyway
Honey 'til your heart belongs to me
If I had some influence, girl
With the powers that be
I'd have them fire that arrow at you
Like they fired it right at me
Maybe when your heart and soul are burning
You might see
That every time I'm talking with you
It's always over too soon
That every day feels so incomplete
'Til you walk into the room
Say the word now, girl
I'll jump that moon... yea...
Come on baby it's OK
Rainy, shiny, night or day
There's nothing in the way now
Don't you see
Be mine, be mine!
Winter, summer, day or night
Centigrade or Fahrenheit
Baby 'til your heart belongs to me
Be Mine, Be mine
Thursday, Friday, short or long
When you got a love so strong
How can it be wrong now? Mercy me
Be Mine, Be mine
Jumpin' Jesus, holy cow!
What's the difference anyhow
Baby 'til your heart belongs to me
On fire, my body's on fire, my body's on fire,
My body's on fire, now run to my side, mmm mmm
Be Mine, be mine
Lyrics: David Gray
Song: Be mine
That's when I knew
All the dreams I held in my heart
Had suddenly come true
Knock me over stone cold sober
Not a thing I could say or do
Cause baby when I'm walking with you now
My eyes are so wide
Like you reached right into my head
And turned on the light inside
Turning on the light
Inside my mind... yea...
Come on baby it's all right
Sunday, Monday, day or night
Written blue on white, it's plain to see
Be mine, be mine!
Rainy, shiny, night or day
What's the difference anyway
Honey 'til your heart belongs to me
If I had some influence, girl
With the powers that be
I'd have them fire that arrow at you
Like they fired it right at me
Maybe when your heart and soul are burning
You might see
That every time I'm talking with you
It's always over too soon
That every day feels so incomplete
'Til you walk into the room
Say the word now, girl
I'll jump that moon... yea...
Come on baby it's OK
Rainy, shiny, night or day
There's nothing in the way now
Don't you see
Be mine, be mine!
Winter, summer, day or night
Centigrade or Fahrenheit
Baby 'til your heart belongs to me
Be Mine, Be mine
Thursday, Friday, short or long
When you got a love so strong
How can it be wrong now? Mercy me
Be Mine, Be mine
Jumpin' Jesus, holy cow!
What's the difference anyhow
Baby 'til your heart belongs to me
On fire, my body's on fire, my body's on fire,
My body's on fire, now run to my side, mmm mmm
Be Mine, be mine
Lyrics: David Gray
Song: Be mine
Forgivness
"This song took 44 years to write, and about 4 minutes to sing"
I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you'd found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm
I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you, cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside
I wanna be happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me anymore...
Lyrics: Don Henley
This Year's Love - David Gray
... all is... drunken gibberrish... "but I miss you sometimes"
I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you'd found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm
I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you, cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside
I wanna be happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me anymore...
Lyrics: Don Henley
This Year's Love - David Gray
... all is... drunken gibberrish... "but I miss you sometimes"
Buggeration!
Why do I always do that? I mean, it's actually strange. Or is it? No. Yes. No, "I" don't think so. I know I should turn and look the other way, but oh mama I can't. Where I look I see rings and buggies.
I see small wrinkles. And I like 'em.
I see wrinkely worn-out squares, grayish F-H and humungus sideburns. Looking high and wearing flares, with a peace sign across the chest. Who are you? Who who, who who?
Anyway, the sick thing is I tent to look to seanfir, lena n-áirítear aithreacha na mo gcarad...!
I can't stand na gasúir óga! Tá fir uaim. Maith na fear, an tUasal Rís.
Tá mé tinn tuirseach! De tú.... Tá tú saonta, agus gránna, agus bómánta. Tá mé tinn tuirseach de tú.
"The doctor is in the emergency room."
Peace and all that comes with it...
Ello people.
I just got home like two hours ago, and I am deadtired. I've got homework to do, but I simply can't be arsed. It's way too cold to do anything here. Thank God for quilts, and candles. Anyway, I'd best be off, think I'm gonna go make myself a cup of tea. Spicy yogi-tea, and ech teabag has a little message on it. Just like a fortune cookie, but better and yummier, and much healthier I assume. Oh hurray hurraaaay, what will my tea bag say today?
We had art class earlier today, it was amusing. We worked with clay (not Aiken) and some drew portraits, like finished my drawing the other day at home I too could start with the clay assignment. I've always loved clay, all sorts, and it's such a wonderful material to work with. It's pretty easy just as long as the texture isn't to hard or soft.
Some people made bowls and such, and Fia made a dice :) I on the other hand am doing a human face, not sure if it's going to be a man or a woman though. I guess we'll simply have to wait and see.
I got the basic parts done, and the nose is more or less finished. I've always wanted to do a human face in clay and this is my first. I'm only doing the face though, wish I could do the whole head. Another time, eh?
I had a little chit chat with Mr. Horns today, he was being rather gentle actually. I do like him, a respectable man.
And I started reading the book yesterday, read some more today as well. Seems pretty good, good enough to read, good enough to spend time on. Good enough for me, and good enough to understand.
Whoa! "Next Train" by Hanson, brings back so many memories... It's been ages since I heard it. It's a good song.
By the way, yesterday while I was folding my clothes, I was listening to Jazz.... Oh I do love it. Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Koop, Sinatra, Leonard Cohen and Nacy Sinatra... And so on... Oh.
I feel ill, my head aches and I'm cold. I think I better have that cup of tea now.
Cheeeeerio chaps!!!!!!!!!!
Le grá,
E B B A
I just got home like two hours ago, and I am deadtired. I've got homework to do, but I simply can't be arsed. It's way too cold to do anything here. Thank God for quilts, and candles. Anyway, I'd best be off, think I'm gonna go make myself a cup of tea. Spicy yogi-tea, and ech teabag has a little message on it. Just like a fortune cookie, but better and yummier, and much healthier I assume. Oh hurray hurraaaay, what will my tea bag say today?
We had art class earlier today, it was amusing. We worked with clay (not Aiken) and some drew portraits, like finished my drawing the other day at home I too could start with the clay assignment. I've always loved clay, all sorts, and it's such a wonderful material to work with. It's pretty easy just as long as the texture isn't to hard or soft.
Some people made bowls and such, and Fia made a dice :) I on the other hand am doing a human face, not sure if it's going to be a man or a woman though. I guess we'll simply have to wait and see.
I got the basic parts done, and the nose is more or less finished. I've always wanted to do a human face in clay and this is my first. I'm only doing the face though, wish I could do the whole head. Another time, eh?
I had a little chit chat with Mr. Horns today, he was being rather gentle actually. I do like him, a respectable man.
And I started reading the book yesterday, read some more today as well. Seems pretty good, good enough to read, good enough to spend time on. Good enough for me, and good enough to understand.
Whoa! "Next Train" by Hanson, brings back so many memories... It's been ages since I heard it. It's a good song.
By the way, yesterday while I was folding my clothes, I was listening to Jazz.... Oh I do love it. Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Koop, Sinatra, Leonard Cohen and Nacy Sinatra... And so on... Oh.
I feel ill, my head aches and I'm cold. I think I better have that cup of tea now.
Cheeeeerio chaps!!!!!!!!!!
Le grá,
E B B A
Hejsan hoppsan fallerallera.
Grattis på födelsedagen farsan! Have a grand day!
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Pappsen,
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Pappsen,
Happy birthday to you!
Tihi, som en liten hiphopare.
Evade evanescence - be a soul singer in a session band
Hej hej här sitter jag och spionerar på grannarna!
Jag vet inte vad jag ska skriva, jag kan uppdatera er om grannlivet.
Rökaren sitter inne, gömd i sin lägenhet; han kommer säkerligen ut med en ciggy snart.
Stjärn-lägenheten är tänd, och full av massa okända människor.
Ensamma gubben sitter fortfarande framför sin utslitna TV, alldeles för sig själv.
Kallsong-killen verkar laga mat, och han har till och med byxor på sig.
Barnfamiljen är frånvarande, men lampan lyser.
Datagubben har övergett datorn, möjligtvis för a night on the town.
Ljusslinge-tanten har tagit bort slingan en gång för alla. Borta, liksom hon.
To be continued.
Revelate - The Frames.
My simple slant.
This broken chant.
My human fate.
My revelate.
Are you so far from me this day,
That you can't say my revelate?
My open arms.
My lucky charms.
My number eight.
My revelate.
I f#cked it up.
I rest my case.
Cause it's all to grey.
My revelate............!
Sometimes I need a revelation.
Sometimes it's all too hard to take.
Sometimes I need a revelation.
This time I'm making my own now.
Does this mean we're through?
Does this mean it's gone?
I spent a day just to ponder the words.
That I would write to you this day.
But it's all too great, my revelate..........!
Sometimes I need a revelation.
Sometimes it's all too hard to take.
Sometimes I need a revelation.
This time it's up in arms.
This time I need you revelation.
Sometimes it's all too much to take.
This time I need you revelation.
Sometimes it's easy just to hate you.........
Sometimes I need a revelation.
Sometimes I, sometimes I...
Redeem yourself
Redeem yourself
Redeem yourself...........!
Slán agus "buail"
-Ebba
And it continues...
I natt, samma dröm fast with a twist. Jag kommer inte riktigt ihåg just nu, men det var samma. Jag vet att det var.
Håååå.... Hmmmm.... Haaaaaa.... Nu sjunkar allt under ytan snart. Snart sart, and all I can do is wait for it to fall.
Håååå.... Hmmmm.... Haaaaaa.... Nu sjunkar allt under ytan snart. Snart sart, and all I can do is wait for it to fall.
Ett drömår
Tre nätter hittils. Och tre nätter i rad. Första natten var allt orsäkert. Andra natten stod allt klart. Tredje natten, nå tredje natten vände allt igen. Vad sker inatt?
Åh ja, jag tänker så lite när jag har så mycket att tänka på... Hejdå säkerhet. Hejdå det älskvärda. Hejdå till altt jag känner...
Jag är fångad i det, det sker överallt. Hur stoppar man det? Antingen framåt, eller bakvänt.
It's just like when Harry met Sally...
Åh ja, jag tänker så lite när jag har så mycket att tänka på... Hejdå säkerhet. Hejdå det älskvärda. Hejdå till altt jag känner...
Jag är fångad i det, det sker överallt. Hur stoppar man det? Antingen framåt, eller bakvänt.
It's just like when Harry met Sally...
2008
Jag börjar året med en saga...
En man, en kvinna, i regnet såg de nästan ut som ett par. Kvinnan frös men var vid ro, och mannen var glad att snön var borta, tillsammans dansade de. I mörkret. Men när ljuset från blixen som slog ned i havet nådde kvinnas ansikte, stannade mannen och frågade: "Är det ditt öga?" . "Ja", savarade kvinnan nervöst. Mannen tittade ned, och viskade: "Du har väldigt vackra ögon, väldigt långa ögonfransar..." Dessa ord gjorde kvinnan osäker, vad menade han som sade dem egentligen? Hon visste inte vad hon skulle säga, men hon sade: "Tack", och kände sig glad. Dansen körde igång igen, i regnet och under stjärnorna. "Se bara till att de inte blir fyrkantiga" sade mannen och tittade in i kvinnans ögon. Hon avbröt honom med att prata om ett dopp i det blå, och allt hon fick som svar var om badbxor. De pratade sedan om mat.
Mannen och kvinnan fortsatte med sin dans, antagligen dansar de fortfarande.
Gott Nytt År!
Tänka sig, ett tag trodde jag att jag någon gång skulle fria nyår med... med... med a rockstar.
En man, en kvinna, i regnet såg de nästan ut som ett par. Kvinnan frös men var vid ro, och mannen var glad att snön var borta, tillsammans dansade de. I mörkret. Men när ljuset från blixen som slog ned i havet nådde kvinnas ansikte, stannade mannen och frågade: "Är det ditt öga?" . "Ja", savarade kvinnan nervöst. Mannen tittade ned, och viskade: "Du har väldigt vackra ögon, väldigt långa ögonfransar..." Dessa ord gjorde kvinnan osäker, vad menade han som sade dem egentligen? Hon visste inte vad hon skulle säga, men hon sade: "Tack", och kände sig glad. Dansen körde igång igen, i regnet och under stjärnorna. "Se bara till att de inte blir fyrkantiga" sade mannen och tittade in i kvinnans ögon. Hon avbröt honom med att prata om ett dopp i det blå, och allt hon fick som svar var om badbxor. De pratade sedan om mat.
Mannen och kvinnan fortsatte med sin dans, antagligen dansar de fortfarande.
Gott Nytt År!
Tänka sig, ett tag trodde jag att jag någon gång skulle fria nyår med... med... med a rockstar.
